Tuesday, April 5, 2011

In Which I Instruct the Reader in the Virtue of Patience

Birthday tomorrow. I was all geared up to make a birthday pie, but once I was up to my elbows in soapy water from the dinner dishes I lost all my oomph. So the birthday pie is going to have to wait until the weekend. And anyway, it seems silly to celebrate before I receive the birthday package my father hinted at so darkly the other day. Apparently it includes a copy of Dick and Jane and Vampires. I already have Yiddish with Dick and Jane (“See Jane schlep. Schlep, Jane. Schlep. Schlep, schlep, schlep.”), so this will round out my collection nicely.

If I had my own Dick and Jane story, incidentally, it would go something like this:

Kathleen needs tea. Drink, Kathleen. Drink!
Now Kathleen can talk. Talk, Kathleen. Talk!
So many emails. Delete, Kathleen. Delete!
Too many proposals. Reject, Kathleen. Reject!
Way too many adverbs. Erase, Kathleen. Erase!
Now the day is done. Goodnight, Kathleen. Goodnight!


1 comment:

  1. Yiddish Dick and Jane? WIN.

    You erase those adverbs, Kathleen. Erase them for us all.

    And of course, happy birfday!